Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Random thoughts... and nightmares.

So 16 weeks pregnant and counting over here. I kinda feel like a slacker for not posting "bump pictures" and filling out a cute little survey about what this past week was like.
So to sum it up... I feel good some days, but mornings are still a little rough. I wish that I felt great all the time and that I could say that my hair is shimmering and I have tht healthy glow! Today I was lucky to get in the shower because all I wanted to do was sleep... sleeping is my favorite thing right now.

I am also still having one of the same nightmares. Over and OVER! It is kinda making me paranoid... so here it is and tell me what you think.

Setting: Northside Hospital Labor and Delivery
Cast of Characters: Me (duh!) JM, and Dr's and nurses. (Sorry no one is allowed in that room! and I dont care how selfish that might be. My vagina. Our baby. The end.)

So this is what keeps happening... I have been pushing for like 30 some odd hours and the epidural just wore off. The nurse says that I cannot have another one and that I will have to have a emergency C-Section and that they are going to be putting me completely under for the precedure... I, of course, freak out but tell them just get baby out and keep up both alive.
I go under...
Then wake up in recovery with EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET in the room. AND they have ALL HELD OUR BABY! I start crying and tell someone to get everyone out of there and to give me my baby... Everyone starts laughing at me and they keep playing pass the baby.

Now I want to be the first (or even the second if JM wants to first) hold the baby. There will be zero exceptions to that one. I don't want people in recovery if I have to have a c-section.

I wake up in a panic every.single.time I have this dream. Then I have to go pee.

What in the hell is wrong with me? Have I lost it completely? Maybe I have lost it...

BUT this is having me think seriously hard about a whole "Birth Plan" about the day of delivery when it comes...
I do know that I want some time with just me and JM and baby. Alone. Our family. Time for me to nurse, time for skin to skin bonding (that I keep reading about).

But I don't know how "selfish" that could be? I mean I know that it is a little selfish, and I know that this is the first Grandbaby on both sides... and that I do want family there first thing just not during the actual labor part or the after part of clean up and mess! But hell, I carried this baby for 9 (really 10) months, and he/she has made me sick as all get out... it should be MY (really our) plan right?

So ladies (and gentlemen) what would you do? Tell me your stories? Or send me links to your own birth stories...
There is only one goal in my mind about having this little on in the first place. To have a healthy baby. 10 fingers and 10 toes... Everything else will be second.
I know that I have a good 24 weeks left to think about all of this... but the nightmare is really getting to me now.

I will have to tell you about another dream I have been having lately... Pretty much I have this beautiful baby that happens to have my cat Tilly's head. AND I think that it is perfectly normal to breast feed my beautiful cat-baby in public no less. Maybe this is because I wake up to Tilly sleeping on me all the time? Who knows... it is kinda strange.
This might also be the reason I have a ton of dreams about me having a liter of kittens!

Seriously... these pregnancy dreams have me going crazy! Tell me you all had crazy dreams pregnant or not? If so share them with me! I need to feel a little bit normal.


  1. I wasn't even pregnant and I had a crazy pregnant dream! I birthed kittens in my dream! So weird!

  2. Omg - "My vagina. our baby. the end." Lmao, you tell them sister!

    As for being selfish, no friggin' way. This is your first child, you get to decide. Think about it this way, they've waited years (perhaps decades) for grandchildren, what's a few more hours?

    Miss ya.

  3. A "birth plan" is a good idea...but remember anything can happen and it's important to be flexible. I wanted a COMPLETELY natural birth (no drugs and vaginal), but 13 hours in I begged for an epidural and 8 hours later (yes a total of 21 hours of labor) my son was borb via c-section. Not what I wanted, but it worked. We were the first to hold him, me on the operating table, and then we went to recovery for a bit before the folks started to come in. In essence, let your husband know what you want and expect it, but don't be surprised if things don't come out precisely as you plan. It's all about a healthy baby :)

    miss ya

    p.s. how bout Mattie's pregnant too!!! 10 weeks!!

  4. Katie- You are completely SANE, you are totally normal for wanting it to just be you and JM. Flynn and I were the only ones in the room when the time came for Flynn Gregg to enter the world. I was in labor for 30 something hours and everyone was hanging out until pushing time, then I kicked everyone out! If you or JM feel uncomfortable asking anyone to leave....nurses are really good at it!!!! Just explain to them that you would like to have some time to yourselves after the little one arrives. Family and Friends are also more accommodating when they hear it from the hospital staff. It's your show, don't let anyone rain on it! Call me if you EVER have questions!! Seriously, I know what you are going through!!

  5. This all VERY normal and I had the same concerns. I had other strange nightmares, but the one thing that made me more anxious than anything was a lot of visitors the first few weeks and everyone passing my baby! I hovered over everyone who had my baby ready to snatch him back if I didnt like the way they were holding him.....I loved that I could take him away from everyone to feed him and get him all to myself. I have relaxed a ton and now know that its just the mamma bear instinct! Everything will be fine! :)